Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
