I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
