arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
