I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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