Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize