I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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