Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
