Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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