i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
