So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
