ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
