all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
