so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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