Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
