Who wears a wallet chain?!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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