i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
