And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
