All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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