Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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