They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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