Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Go christen that room with your naked body.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
