You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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