Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
