I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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