there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
