So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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