i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I made him laugh his dick is mine
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
