idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
