i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
