Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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