Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
