My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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