yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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