would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
