i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
