I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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