Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
