so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
