grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
