I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
