either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
