everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
