I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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