is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
