Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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