Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
