Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
