Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
and you fell through a lawn chair
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
