Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
