I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
