You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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