Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
