Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
