White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize