I'm passing your future prison.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
