i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
