everyone is single if you try hard enough
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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