I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
