haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dicks are not precious.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
