I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
