Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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