just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
