I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
