her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
