he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
