You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize