She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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