Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
