It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
