It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
