What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
