We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
