The best revenge is premature balding
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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