Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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