I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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