You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
