I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
where are you?
Hypothermia
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We are all done wearing pants today
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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