remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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