her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
