Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
