i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
