I'm lost and stupid without you.
i barfeds in our rink
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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