I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
