I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
