What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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