I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
