On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize