I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
