Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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