it wasn't lemon gatorade
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
