U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
