sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize