Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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