i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
